The First Leaf Shinobi I Ever Fought
by MaleficMistress
Summary: A cracked version of the apparent fight between Hashirama Senju and Kakuzu. Hope you guys like it.


Sleep was one of Hashirama's most craved times. After a long day playing the role of Hokage, and running a village, the only thing he could look forward to was a hot cup of tea, and his warm bed. He worked very hard each day to deserve it, so he felt no guilt what so ever when he came straight to his room and simply crashed.

His shirt has been hung up on one of the posts of the bed, the only piece of apparel on him presently, being a black pair of sleeping pants. The empty cup of tea had been set on the edge of the nightstand beside of his bed, and the curtains had been drawn on the window, the moonlight barely having any room to illuminate more than the thinnest crack in the center, casting shadows around the room. One of which, wasn't a shadow at all.

The shinobi had somehow managed to slip around the guards, and had entered the room without so much as a peep. The dual coloured eyes were fixated on the sleeping man, completely unimpressed. This didn't look like anything special for such an impressive title. His face looked too soft, his expression gentle. This looked nothing like a fierce warrior deserving of the title Kage.

A kunai knife was clutched tightly in the boy's hand, he was no older than eighteen, and his nerves were on the brink. Dark brown locks fell just past his shoulders, long, thing bangs framing his face which was set with a deep ridge over his brow, making it appear as though he were scowling at all times. His eyes were narrowed and focused, his teeth clenched. He couldn't fail this mission. Granted he had never faced against a leaf shinobi before, and he had heard that they were troublesome when they wanted to be, he felt confident in his own abilities. He was the strongest of his generation in Takigakure. Strong enough that they sent him to do this on his own.

With a calming breath, the boy moved forward swiftly with a hard push from the ground. No matter how strong a shinobi is; if you could get close enough to deal that fatal blow, they all fell just as hard. The moonlight reflected off of the raising kunai blade, making the edges shimmer dangerously as it drove forward for the kill. This was it. Even if the Hokage woke now, there was no way in hell he would be able to react quickly enough to stop him.

The Taki nin felt his breath catch and his vision seemed to flicker as the kunai was now mere millimeters from the Hokage's throat. He felt the contact and heard a thud so loud it was making his ears ring, and his pulse speed up. His muscles were clenching, and aching painfully, badly enough for the shinobi to get an instant headache, creating flickering spots of light in his eyes. He had done it. It was over. Now he could get out of that room and get back to his village with the news.

At least, until he opened his eyes and noted that he wasn't standing over the Hokage like he originally thought. No, in fact it was quite the opposite. He found himself with his back to the floor and the Hokage staring down at him, the kunai knife discarded completely across the room out of his reach. His head was swimming and the ringing in his ears was finally dying down, but he knew at once he was in deep trouble. The Hokage had done nothing more than sling his arm out as if swatting away a bothersome fly. It seemed like in essence, it was the same thing.

Hashirama's hair was messed, and his eyes tired, but he could only stare down at this boy. Looking at him with wide fearful eyes. He obviously had no idea what he had gotten himself into. He glanced at the forehead protector and recognized that he was from the land of waterfalls, Takigakure. Just what the hell was all this about? "What do you think you're doing?"

His voice was still calm and gentle as it usually was despite the fact that he was questioning his assassin. He probably should have been angry and attacking this boy, but his shocked expression brought compassion from Hashirama. He knew the boy was ignorant to what he was doing when it came to just what Hashirama was capable of so he couldn't bring himself to be angry.

He stared into the red, green eyes and watched as the boys lips began to struggle to form words. A few stutters was all he could manage but he quickly regained his composure enough to form something somewhat comprehendable.

"I-, I'm sorry my village told me to," he explained. The voice was rather deep and rough sounding, but the honesty was as plain as day. This soften Hashirama's gaze more so, enough to make him take a none threatening step forward, moving out of a defensive, or rather a scolding stance.

Seeing that there was no immediate threat, the boy continued. "I've never even fought a leaf shinobi before this, I wouldn't have had I just known!" It was somewhat pathetic of an alibi but it was the best he knew to do. This was the Hogake, if he wanted to at this point he could simply snap his fingers and take his life; there would be nothing he could do to stop him either as sobering and almost terrifying as it was.

Hashirama sighed for a moment in disbelief. Takigakure, not only called for his assassination, but sent in a young shinobi that had never even faced off against a standard leaf shinobi before? This was just mind blowing. He couldn't bring himself to even blame the boy at this point. No, as of right now he was a victim of circumstance. Shaking his head, he finally stepped forward towards the shinobi and took his hand with his own, hauling him up onto his feet.

The boy seemed utterly shocked but made no move against him, standing up straight, with confusion plainly plastered on his face. Hashirama proceeded to brush off the boy, seeing he had bits of dust and particles from the floor on his back and rear end. He seemed annoyed that this had happened in the first place, but Hashirama just wasn't the type of man to stay angry over something. He would get so frustrated it would evaporate into exasperation. It had an almost calming effect on him, and it helped wash away his tension and allowed him to think more clearly. He was grateful for this however, otherwise he would get too uppity about something, particularly battle, and be killed.

Breaking away from his musings, he finished brushing the boy off, who seemed to be in a mixture of confusion, embarrassment, and anxiousness.

"Alright, now go home and get back to your family., they're probably worried sick about you. 'Kill the Hokage' indeed. Tell your village you simply were not able to kill me and you barely managed to escape with your life. I'm not fighting you."

The young man seemed to be relieved that he would at least get to live long enough to get back home and see his mother again. Nodding his head gratefully he stepped away from the rather...unnaturally nice Hokage and continued to nod, his eyes falling halfway shut as he made his way to the window. "Okay. Okay thank you." It was lame, it was simple, and it was the total opposite of what shinobi behavior was supposed to be like, but neither of the males could care. It was late, both had their minds blown, one of them on the more physical side, and both were ready to stop while they were ahead.


End file.
